A couple weeks ago I was honored to spend some time with a young boy who was desperately in need of a fresh start. Conflict with family, disrespect, some bad habits and a normal boys exuberance, angst and confusion placed him in jeopardy of needing some drastic measures to get him back on track.
This guy is 15 and could be a world beater. He has the smarts and the personality, he’s charismatic and has natural leadership qualities. I think he’s absolutely amazing. He’s a lot like I was at his age, before I went tumbling into a dark pit of bad decision, bad timing, and bad luck.
So I met with his wonderful mom and involved step-dad who were concerned and insightful enough to look at what I might be able to offer their son. After some discussion and soul-searching they decided that everyone needed a fresh start, when they can all move forward together with the hopes of staying together as a family. Yes, it WAS that desperate.
We met and spoke on the phone a few times, and eventually devised a plan based on what I have come to see as absolutely essential in the growth of a boy toward manhood. Essential, but almost completely lacking in our families and societies today.
What is it that is essential but lacking?
It’s this:
There is seldom a clearly defined moment or process that marks the movement of a boy from childhood to boyhood, and then again from boyhood to manhood.
A clearly defined moment or process.
Marking the movement.
From childhood to boyhood to manhood.
Now, I can’t get into details about the three days I spent with this ex-child now boy, but it involved a variety of nature based, male bonding, trust building, heart searching, pride building, life enriching explorations that I firmly believe have stained him in a positive and validating way.
Of course I am in his life for the long haul and he is well aware of that and what that means.
But here’s the thing: He’s been taken across a thresh-hold and he knows there is NO GOING BACK. This is a one way trip for him, and when he returned home he knew that everything had changed.
And if he forgets, Aaron will be there to remind him, with words, with actions, and with a man’s way of striking like lightning, I will remind him.
